（If I...の最初より抜粋） "The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates said that. Over 2,000 years ago. And I agree with him. I would just add, "man". The unexamined life is not worth living, man. Because that hits me here. But when you do examine life, can you go too far? How much is too much, man?
That’s the question I had to ask myself recently. Because in examining my life, I got carried away. /// I love figuring things out. The process of exploring the possibility to discover something new, that's my passion. That's a simple pleasure I've enjoyed since I was a kid. But recently things got complicated. That's what I talk about tonight."
・・・名文です。"The unexamined life is not worth living"(内省をしない人生など生きる価値はない)に"man"（米発音なのでメェァ～ンと聞こえる）をつけて、彼特有の変なノリで（笑）聴き手を引き込んでいってます。 "Things got complicated."・・・そうなんですよね、この世は明確な答えがある問題ばかりではない・・。ディミトリがいくら徹底して人生について考えても、答えにたどり着くとは限らないわけで。そんな"If I..."は彼のジョークを基にしたコメディであると同時に、１人のナードな少年が迷って迷って答えを捜し求めるグローイング・アップ・ストーリーでもあるのです。どんなことも徹底して考えるオタク、ディミトリの一言一言が染みました。
そして、"If I..."に散りばめられた彼のジョーク。一つ一つが磨かれた石の様に素敵です。言葉の端々が"素敵"なんです。ディミトリはHBOの人気シットコム"Flight of the Conchords"にもゲスト出演していましたが、あのオフビートな感じが好きな方は絶対気に入りますよ～（え、どこに出てたっけ、と思った方は下の動画をどうぞ！）
そんな彼のジョークを少し引用すると・・ "‘Sort of’ is such a harmless thing to say. Sort of. It's just a filler. Sort of – it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, sort of means everything. Like after ‘I love you’ or ‘You're going to live’ or ...‘It's a boy.’"
"I went into a clothes store and a lady came up to me and said “if you need anything, I'm Jill”. I've never met anyone with a conditional identity before."
"I saw a guy at a party wearing a leather jacket and I thought, ‘That is cool.’ But then I saw another guy wearing a leather vest and I thought, ‘That is not cool’. Then I figured it out: ‘Cool’ is all about leather sleeves."
